Thursday, October 23, 2008

BABY NATHAN AT 1 WEEK OLD PRAISING THE LORD JESUS!

At last... Baby Nathan Wesley Goh Tsu Kien has arrived on 4 oct 08!
Jesus has been our strength through out my pregnancy, labour and now weeks after his birth. Praise God for his wonderful miracle and grace. GOD ALWAYS FULFILLS HIS PROMISES. Just like Hannah... I can now say that He heard my cry and granted my request. Nathan means god's gift. Wesley means west meadow... (a place of rest, and named after the great preacher John Wesley in England, a great preacher of grace & righteousness)



Psalm 8:2
From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger.





Wednesday, October 22, 2008

THANK YOU GTPJ DANCERS FOR THE BABY GIFTS!



Hi GTPJ Dancers...

Thank you so much for the lavish baby gifts for Nathan! I was truly surprised and encouraged. Sorry for the delay in thanking you all as the 1st 2 weeks were spent on recovery and caring for Nathan. Thank you for remembering me and Nathan!! Miss you all!

Hugs & kisses,
AUNTY DANZ

Sunday, September 28, 2008

LAST TRIMESTER PHOTOS....






fat mommy n handsome daddy...

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Mommy's hand in sewing Nathan's stuffs...




I've always wanted to sew stuffs. So thank god for Nathan's great grandma... (charles' granny) who taught me how to sew the cot sheets.. for the crib. Look at the lion prints..., i bought the cloth from spotlight center in plaza singapura. It is a craft and handwork shopping paradise there. i spent a whole hour browsing through that place. ehhehehe and of coz the selections for girlie stuffs are more than that of boys. but i am happy enough with the lion prints. and the froggy prints (which i made into a felt blanket). I've also managed to sew the alphabets for NATHAN and stuck them to the crib. I know... Mommy will have to remove it by 4-5 months time when Nathan can start grabbing stuffs...

other cot sheets mommy sewed: batik prints(2 sets) and checkered blue prints

ooo we bought lots of soft toys too from IKEA and the curve flea market. the barney one can sing... and the elmo one can laugh. Monty lion comes with a 10sec voice recorder so that baby can hear the voice of the parents when he hugs it. cool eh? well will have to remove those toys when nathan arrives. for now.. they are there for deco purposes. ahhahaha

Monday, September 8, 2008

Our Testimony of God's faithfulness in our lives

Just a testimony to share about God’s faithfulness….

At the end of 2006, was the most trying times for me and Charles. A Really humbling process. We had to close a cell group that we’ve been faithfully leading for 2 years. Charles had to quit that IT related job that was not suitable for him. Finances were really short for us even after many years of struggling in our careers and attempts at business (insurance etc). I was then not earning a salary but was commissioned based. So lots of financial insecurities. And then on top of that I had a shocking and painful miscarriage. All almost at the same time. It was the most excruciating time of my life. Physically, mentally, emotionally And spiritually. Physically, it was like a knife carving into my womb n forcefully taking away something so precious to me, but yet I couldn’t do anything. God didn’t do anything either. I felt so bewildered. So helpless. Words from close friends and relatives also didn’t really help. During those fragile times, I was so fragile and highly sensitive. I blamed myself. I blamed god. And then I questioned god. I felt I was like a crying child desperately punching back at her father who was hugging and shielding her tight. I didn’t get any of my questions answered but Jesus was with me all the time, comforting me. One of the fragile nights, I was lying on the bed n crying so hard…. and I had this vision/ dream: I saw Jesus in white clothes and bright lights. He came next to my bed and sat right next to me. Next to my tummy. He put his hands on my tummy and began talking to me. I cant remember what he said… coz I was sobbing so hard n looking at him. But with just his presence alone, I was comforted. His presence was just enough to cover all my sorrows. I felt his tremendous love and comfort. No answers were given but just a huge envelope of peace and love. I will never forget that vision or dream. He was so real!

Next following months (2007) were also trying times. Charles was trying to find new job. We were surviving on my commission. But the Lord gave me a word during my devotional time that I will eat from the harvest that I didn’t sow (the prophecy in 1 chronicles to king hezekiah). And while recuperating from miscarriage, my investment planning business grew. The Lord helped me to achieve my year target in just half year. But still the tug in my heart… my deepest longing is to gain back the child I lost. We had 2 prophecies from Pastor Julie Khoo (Glad Tidings PJ) and another sis Julie. Both 2 weeks apart. About me conceiving again. That was in jan-feb 2007. but nothing happened!

Every month, I felt like a failure. It was not helping when the monthly periods came so ON TIME and so painful (more painful after miscarriage because of the hormonal imbalance). It was like the devil was reminding me of my loss and the pain of the miscarriage every month. Then I eagerly took fertility pills which I regretted. More crazy hormonal changes. False positive alarms. It was Very unnerving. I just couldn’t share with anyone. I was an emotional wreck. But Jesus was still healing me spiritually, physically n emotionally.

One of the greatest support we had was… from our cell group. Though we failed as cell leaders to keep our previous cell alive, we were invited back to our grandfather’s cell (2 cells before we were leading that failed cell). There we experienced restoration, grace and love. It was a real refuge to me. We learnt to pour out our hearts in worship and soaking in the lord’s presence with the cell even during our toughest times and depression. We learnt to focus on the Lord Jesus during those trying times. No one came to counsel us or comfort us but it was through the intense worship and intercessions of the group, that we began to let go and focus on Jesus. The fellowship of the members also greatly encouraged us. Hearing simple but yet exciting testimonies from young believers also encouraged us that our lord is still in control. Meanwhile, God provided Charles a new job in a MLM company which he worked very hard at. And Jesus revived the passion in me for dancing and worshipping for him. Through dance worship, my emotions were healed by his spirit. He also gave me dreams about intercession for the country and shifted my focus from my fertility problem to his heart… feeling his heart beat for Malaysia. I became more and more involved in dance ministry and was so inspired to train and built up dance worshippers and dance intercessors. And then suddenly, God said “Time to go!!????”

At the end of August 2007, Charles had to leave his job again and this time into something he really know nothing of i.e Marine off shore industry. And to relocate also! I was so nervous then. Charles too. Charles was supposed to help in his dad’s business in that industry with no pay unless if he gets some projects done up. We were supposed to live with his parents in a small room previously owned by his sis. Then, I was reminded about a dream that I couldn’t really figured out in early 2007 but somehow the dream was confirming our relocation. We felt strongly in our spirits that we had to go. But there were many moments of struggles and nervousness. My parents also couldn’t really understand. But somehow, when we obeyed and went, God went ahead of us and paved the way. As Charles was in Johor helping his dad, one day Charles’ dad’s friend in Singapore was looking for a marketing executive in his marine offshore company. And Charles got recommended to the job and got it. It is a large Singapore marine offshore company and the boss is a strong committed Christian. They have cell group meetings on Fridays!! Praise god. And we were blessed that suddenly my mom in law had an apartment (from her company) ready for us to stay in for FREE for 2 yrs. And that apartment was just refurbished and newly renovated just when we arrived!!! (got swimming pool, sauna, gym etc). But it was situated in the most heavily jammed area in Johor (There were many reports in the news paper where the jam can be for 3 hours on the particular bridge that leads to the arterial road into town). Charles was at first apprehensive about it but, on the week we moved in, God removed all the obstructions and traffic lights. It became so much smoother!! Now, it only takes 20 minutes to the city instead of the 3 hours. Miracle huh?

Then, while we were in Johor, we were visiting several churches. We first visited Calvary Charismatic church and had another shocking prophecy there. A pastor who was supposed to pray for Charles’ new job transition prophesied over us suddenly saying that I will bear a child in 2008.I was quite tired of prophecies already coz almost one year but still no success. So I was just refreshed by this new one and continued to trust god.

Then all the excitement of a new place began to die down. It was time for me to face up to adapting to new life. So quiet. No friends. People speaking in foreign language! They all spoke in mandarin and my mandarin is totally no good at all! No ministry. No church to belong to. No cell group to go to. I felt god was stripping me of everything that I know of. Stripping what I defined my self as. I couldn’t dance for him. I wanted so much to serve him and do something. But nothing. Just quietness. No more girl friends or prayer buddies. It was bewildering. I was so passionate for him and wanted to join intercessions and prayers. But nothing for me to join. I felt the churches here were so different and laid back. I came back from church one Sunday, and I cried n cried to Jesus. It was so bewildering. I felt so useless. I even threw a book at him out of frustration. Then the lord led me to a bible verse, “Why are you crying? (the gardener saying to mary who was crying at the tomb of jesus)…..and the next verse caught my eyes…. “Who are you looking for???” I began to realize that I was looking for other things than Jesus in church. I repented and days after that was spent drawing closer to him. Those were the times, where the Lord was dealing with me and healing my hurts and frustration. Then of course, the Lord’s promise came true.

Truly at the end of Jan’08 I was pregnant without much effort. We were both very surprised. Though the subsequent months were also trying for me (all the pregnancies symptoms and depressive moods swing) I thank the lord for journeying with me through all this and being so faithful to me.

Charles now has changed so much. We have experienced God’s faithfulness and guidance in our lives which we never in the first place deserved or could imagine. Everyday, though Charles goes through the traffic jam on the causeway (jb-spore bridge) for 2 hours (total traveling time to and fro is about averagely 4 hours), Charles has learnt to rest in the Lord and find his peace in Jesus. He has learnt to be patient and does his devotions and worship in the car at those times. The Lord also has led us to a small church (Church of Praise, Bukit Indah, JB) where we are now actively involved in. I have an opportunity to lead and disciple a team of 6 beautiful young girls in dance worship (English service) and help train another 16 teenagers for the creative dance ministry. Praise god for their eagerness to learn even though they know the teacher here has bad command of mandarin!! Charles is playing bass guitar for the English services and helping out in sharing the word at a new young adults cell. We have also opened our apartment for the cell meetings. And I do back up singing too.

Praise god for the journey he has journeyed with me and Charles in 2006-2008. Now, it is like a season of breakthroughs for us. Charles has won much favour from his bosses and coping very well at work and the industry. Praise the Lord for the abundant blessings now!! But I will never trade 2006/2007 with anything coz that was when God was molding me and redefining my spirit. To define me and realign me back to him. The times of quietness taught me that my identity does not belong to a place/ church/ ministry/ cell or friends… my identity is in Christ. I just wanted to share all these to the glory of our all loving Father. He knows best. His timing is the best. And when it is so quiet and silent, sink our roots deep into him for there is so much to learn from him. He is refining us to make us pure gold!

Monday, April 14, 2008

The transformation....

yeah... my first trimester was really bad. i had... nausea (feeling of vomiting but you cant vomit...urggh), gastric, bloatedness, indigestion, heart burn, flatulence, bleeding nose, headaches, fever, heat wave.... ear infection...
wow... praise god, the Lord Jesus brought me through all those depressing periods. Those were the times when you start questioning about the reality of pregnancy. Looking back now... I can only see God's grace and patience with me through that difficult time. (a time that i was physically, mentally and spiritually exhausted. I could not eat properly. Meals were all horrid to me. I could not stand the smell of cinnamon.uttering a prayer was a great step of faith that time. and what more to worship...But God is gracious!). O... n i thrived on lime juice, macaroni or spaghetti in soup, tom yum soup, strawberries and lots of cream crackers. well, i blame the cream crackers for adding 5kg to my weight in just one month :P (but what could i do then, when i was always feeling nauseous and with gastric?)

Here's a ultrasound picture of Baby Nathan at 1 month gestation period: (I detected the pregnancy very early actually... Thanks to Dr Idora Mohammad, My favourite and most caring and most cheerful Gynae in Pantai Medical Centre, Bangsar. (P.s I miss you, Dr Idora!! Things are so different here in Johor...)














and subsequently my visit at kempas medical centre with Dr Lim KJ